


Five time Chris fell into a relationship (And one time he didn't)

by Legrandloup



Category: American Actor RPF, British Comedy RPF, Late Late Show RPF, MythBusters
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-13 05:21:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/820481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legrandloup/pseuds/Legrandloup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Chris found himself in a relationship he didn't understand and one time Sarah Silverman fucked with his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five time Chris fell into a relationship (And one time he didn't)

**Author's Note:**

> This thing has got to appeal to at least one other person out there.

1\. Wil

He's not really sure when it started with Wil. Sometime after they moved in together but before the first big earthquake, he knows that. At first it was just them falling asleep on the futon after a movie (maybe there was a little spooning) and Wil being, perhaps, more touchy with him then two guys would usually be. But he was Wil and that's just what Wil did (even if he didn't do it with anyone else). Then it was Chris drunkenly sleeping in Wil's bed one night (which turned into most nights) and was finally cemented when Wil turns and kisses him (on the MOUTH) when they're watching a rerun of Monty Python on PBS. 

And then it becomes a thing. A thing with Wil where sometimes they kiss and sometimes they share a bed and sometimes Chris is so sure this is perfect that he's not sure what he'll do when it ends (because they're kids and they're not good at these kind of thing.) 

Eventually Wil gets sick of a life where everyone looks at him, they both move out and don't talk for years because they're not in front of each other. The distance makes it easier for Chris to remember it just as foggy memories instead of something he misses dearly. 

2\. Adam

He can't help but get nerd excited whenever he gets to talk to Adam. So when he develops a nerd crush, well, that's to be expected, right? It's not that weird, it's only that he thinks Adam's a cool guy who does cool things and likes to dress up as batman. 

It's not weird even if Jonah and Matt keep bringing it up before podcasts. It's not weird even if Chris sometimes thinks about getting a Robin outfit to match Adam's Batman (Robin was Batman's adopted son, dammit!). It's definitely not weird even if he sometimes fantasies about what he would do to Adam if he got him alone in his "Mancave" (mostly they would talk about Star Wars but then some sexy things would happen!). 

It's not until years later when he's having lunch with Adam at M5 that he bring it up ("I may have had the teensiest bit of a nerd crush on you once upon a time."). And there's silence and maybe it's Chris over analyzing things all the time but he's pretty sure he just burned a bridge and, oh god, the panic attack, he can feel it coming. 

But Adam just goes back to his sandwich and says "Yeah, you and like everyone. You should read some of the letters I get."

Crisis averted.

3\. Felicia Day

He's always running into her and maybe it's because they're both nerds or maybe it's because they're both big on the internet and small in everything else but they find themselves in each others company a lot. 

It's usually awkward but they're both naturally awkward people so it works. He invites her to places that sell bubble tea and she invites him to places that exist solely to sell you fair trade, organic coffee. 

Chris likes to think that she's a robot that runs on coffee and panic attacks.

He's at a party one night and she's there too and he's too busy being the sober person at the drinking party to notice her until she's grabbed his hand and dragged him to a bedroom. He notices she looks a bit blitzed and her hair's sticking out on one side and her eyes (which he's always really loved) are wide open like they're trying to capture every detail. 

She's has a quite painful death grip on his shoulders and he's pretty sure he's holding her up at this point and she's leaning into kiss him.

And from there everything happens fast and then slow again. They're out of their clothes in a blur and it's only when Chris is kissing her on the bed that he thinks about what's happening but more than that he's thinking he thinks too much. So he stops. 

In the morning it's more slow. Chris hasn't got anything to do all day and Felicia never mentions anything. They spend 15 minutes trying to find Chris' missing sock but they give up when someone knocks on the door. They go to a diner three blocks from Felicia's latest apartment. They share pancakes (Felicia insists on letting the syrup soak the pancakes until they can only eat them with a spoon) and Chris even drinks coffee with her (even if he'll pay for it later). It's still slow when he spends the rest of the day with her on her sofa. They alternate between playing whatever video game Felicia is trying to beat (he can't remember anymore) and watching bad old movies that Felicia likes to collect. 

Later, when it's dark and Chris know he has to go home and do the things he's promised, it's fast again. Felicia gives him a hug and a kiss (on the cheek this time) but they don't make any more plans because they're just the sort of people who always end up together. 

4\. Jessica Hynes

The first time he meets her is when Spaced comes out in the US. People know Simon and Edgar but she's an unknown, tends to be left out of interviews (although she knows exactly how to make her way into conversations, how to make them laugh, nervously or otherwise). She can't seem to remember his name and when she calls him Colin it doesn't seem to be in a mean way. 

The next time they see each other is when she's there with Simon, going to a Hot Fuzz opening at one of his favorite theaters. She's wearing a dress and for some reason lime green rain boots with flowers painted on them. This time she's better at remembering his name and when they end up meeting at a bar later she kisses him on the lips (she smells like beer but she's holding a fruity drink). He doesn't think anything of it since she also kisses Simon and the bartender this way too (Simon is nearing his way to unconscious and the bartender is unamused when he asks them to leave).

Chris ends up taking them to their hotel, him and Jessica propping Simon up between them as they make their way to the elevator. Chris ends up staying, watches bad infomercials with Jessica as Simon snores on the couch.

The third time he's in London, playing around at different clubs. Edgar says he'll take him out to do touristy things but something comes up (he mentions goldfish and fires and Chris doesn't want to ask) and it's Jessica who turns up. 

They go on the London Eye (where Chris finds out he's claustrophobic in glass bubbles) and he takes a picture of every sign for the BBC he sees. They end up at in a bookstore when both of their brains are rattling too much from the noise of people. It's quiet and Jessica pets a cat while Chris pretends to look at 18th-century plays when he's actually looking at her. 

It's strange to see her like this. He's not used to being alone with her. He's not used to seeing her so quiet either. He feels kind of stalkerish staring at her from behind the bookcase until she looks up and flashes him a smile. They leave the day at that and he doesn't get the chance to see her again while he's there. 

5\. Craig Ferguson

When he meets Craig he's excited because he's Scottish and tall and he sometimes laughs at his jokes. Later he's excited because he's nice and likes Doctor Who. Chris hasn't met someone who's challenged his personal boundaries in a while but with Craig it's an ever present thing. While he's still trying to figure out where the line is drawn, Craig is already far ahead of him, playing another game.

Chris doesn't have to worry about offending him when he doesn't drink with him but now he's got all these other rules about Craig he has to figure out. 

Craig invites him to New York in February. It's cold but there aren't many tourists around. They take a ferry to Ellis Island and they spend the whole time out on the deck with Chris throwing up over the side. They spend two hours exploring every corner of the museum, Craig's interested in the history but Chris is more interested in the dry land aspect (he dreads the trip back).

They go see an artsy movie and slump together in the back row eating popcorn and whispering about the main actress's hair which seems a strange bluey-purple color. While Chris is trying to figure out if their knees and shoulders touching is a good thing, Craig is already ahead of him, jostling him occasionally to point something out or touching him on the neck when he moves in his chair. 

Craig's more focused on the film than on Chris but Chris can't say the same. He's trying to figure out when his life became about these rules. 

They go back to see the film again the next night. Craig claims he likes it but Chris knows he just finds it funny in his own way. When the lights go down Craig has invented new rules and Chris forgets everything else. 

1\. Sarah Silverman

"Chris is nice but I would never make-out with him or anything" She's telling this to Jonah who really couldn't care less who Chris makes-out with. "I mean he just lacks that confidence don't you think?" He knows she's just fucking with him.

"I mean, how can we be sure he wouldn't want to have sex with wizard robes on?" 

Knowing she's just fucking with him doesn't make him feel any better when she strikes on the truth.


End file.
